The soon to be infamous catfish story

Last night i got a call from a freind i hadnt seen in a while "JugHead". Our conversation went a little something like this.

JH:"DUDE! where are you at there is a party at "Wrench's" place man you gotta come"

Downer:" I dont know man that sounds kind of gumpy"

JH:"Im already outside your house lets go yu jive T*****

apon further inspection i discovered he was indeed out side my house so i had no choice.I climbed into his truck and away we went way out into the distant lands of Mooringsport Louisiana. when we arrived i realized quickly i had made a mistake it was a gumpfest and i was stuck so i found the only girl with a full set of teeth and tried to spark up a conversation.

Downer:hello im Downer

Randomgirl:What you have some Downers? can i buy some?

Downer: yeah sure but it will cost you your firstborn child

RG;Actually my baby is at home so mabye i shouldnt buy those

Downer:nice talking to you

my second encounter with the locals was with a short fat blonde kid with glasses after i accidently bumped into him.
Piggy:watch were your going douche

Downer:shut the hell up if this were lord of the flies youd already be dead

Piggy:what the hell are you talking about

Downer:be silent i have the conch now piggy

He obviosly didnt get the joke probably because he is incapable of reading so i was forced to leave piggy alone.

I had a couple more talks like this when i decided to head out into the woods to take a piss. As im doing this a very large fellow comes running by me.

Downer:what the hell are you running for

Bigbear: I got warrants man i cant get caught by the cops

I look back at this party and sure enough cops are everywhere and are arresting people. My first thought is im not doing anything illegal so i dont have to worry about this. My second thought was oh god they just tazed that guy im getting the hell out of here. I began to run into the woods and promptly and met with and unseen fence i knock myself down. I begin to think that running might not have been the best idea. I press on anyway and soon i am so lost that i consider sitting down and crying. I call Jughead to see if he has been incarcerated.

Downer:jug what the hell is going on

JH:cops are gone man they were cool you must have imagined all that stuff you saw(logical right?)

Downer:well come pick me up ill find a road

JH:Ok but it will  be awhile im busy

Downer:busy with what

JH:hangs up

3 HOURS of sitting alone by the side of a road i found waiting Jug finally arrives

JH: Hey man id like you to meet "catfish" shes gonna let us stay at her house

At this point im tired wet and cold and could care less, We arrive at catfish's house and she shows me the couch im going to be sleeping on.its about 5 feet long so my legs are hanging over the side of it and it smells like a sweaty pakistani cab driver has been rolling around on it. I fall asleep but am soon awaken by a very large scary man who at first i thought was jughead

Downer:what the hell go away jug

Scaryguy:who is jughead and who the hell are you

Downer:I realize im in danger so i explain myself and what happened

SG:well you better be gone in the moring

he gives me a look that says if im not i might end up on his wall. i awake at 6 drag jug into his truck and we make a hasty get away. As we are driving away i hear a horrible metallic grinding sound and the truck slows down to a stop. Jugs truck which he is constantly abusing had finally died. So another 3 hours of waiting on B-ray to come get us and take me to my truck so i could finally go home and try and forget this horrible night. Didnt work i still remember and it still sucks.