Downer kills a Dog........yeah its as bad as its sounds

This Story actually took place back in november. Now some of you may be thinking that this sucks because its not a story from today my answer for you is shut the hell up eveyone knows nothing funny happens on a monday.Anyway this day started off with me being super excited because i was getting to go to a Key Club Luncheon which meant missing a lot of suicide worthy classes to go eat fried chicken a serious win win situation. For those who dont know (stupid gumps) Key Club members have to wear a coat tie and a nice shirt to this luncheon. I was on my way to school listening to DMX scream at me when all of sudden a dog runs out into the street and stops in the middle. I tried to miss him really i did in fact i swerved so hard a smashed into the curb and popped my tire it went something like this

Downer:AHHHHHHHH!!! DOG!!!!!!

Dog:Bark Bark (ceases barking as life brutally comes to an end)\

I got out to survey the damage and my tire was completly flat and useless oh yeah and that dog didnt make it. I checked his collar and learned his name was King and he happened to live at the address i was parked next to. I went to knock on the door to tell the family but no one answered. I was waiting on my brother to come pick me up and take me home for my spare tire when i started to feel bad about leaving this dog in the street.I decided to pick him up (in my best clothes mind you) and carry him up to the house. I make it about half way when a car pools into the driveway. OK this whole mess just got as awkward as a mule on roller skates picture this in your head you pull into your house to find some kid in very nice clothes stanied in blood with your dead dog in his arms what would you do?

Woman:"what the hell are you doing with my dog"

Downer:"Ok I know how this looks but please allow me to explain that im a not a dog murderer"

I explain what happaned and she calms down alot and actually finds the whole thing kind of funny.

Woman:"he is actually our kids dog and they have been in college for a few years now so he was really lonely"

suddenly it all made sense the dog was lonely and had given up on life so he used me as a way to commit suicide to prove this i reference me and kings conversation

Downer:"AHHHH!!!!! DOG!!!!

King:Bark!Bark! (Translation) "please merciful Downer end my suffering and massascre me here in the streets so i may finally be at peace

happy to help King, I hope Dog heaven (or hell i mean i dont know if he was good or bad) is better than your once miserable life. Well eventually i made it to school and told this story to my teacher "Durty-Greek" who thought it was hilarious and demanded i tell it to the whole Key Club luncheon when we got there. So here i am standing in front of about 30 senior citizens telling the tale of canine vehicular homicide and when i finished it was apparent they didnt know how to react. should they laugh,smile hell chuckle at least? Nope, they looked at me like i was a homeless person who had just asked them to wash my ass.

People always ask me if i feel bad about killing king my answer is no he obviously wanted to die and cost me a tire and the respect of key club mabye he is in dog hell after all dragging his ass across satans carpet if so i just hope he's happier now.